Il coraggio degli ultimi

il coraggio degli ultimi

Mentre sono seduto a terra, con il ginocchio dolorante, rivedo me stesso da bambino, nel tempo in cui quelle ginocchia erano sempre tutte sbucciate. Tutti noi abbiamo un primo ricordo, il mio è quello di un bambino, me stesso, su un triciclo verde con i calzoncini corti appena indossati per la primavera. Ricordo il sole, il vento che di prima mattina mi faceva venire la pelle d’oca e la vista delle mie gambine che nel cortile di casa premevano con forza sui pedali alla ricerca della velocità. Una velocità che oggi sarebbe ridicola, ma che all’epoca mi faceva sembrare di volare.

Anche se avevo solo 3 anni, su quel trabiccolo a tre ruote assaporavo la libertà. A volte correvo troppo veloce e in qualche piccola curva o magari su una pietra, mi catapultavo giù dal triciclo riaprendo per l’ennesima volta le ferite sulle mie ginocchia.

Ricordo ancora il volto di mia madre, dallo sguardo tenero, che sorridendo veniva a prendermi. Nel momento stesso in cui incrociavo il suo sguardo non piangevo più. La scrutavo mentre mi raggiungeva, mi metteva le mani sotto le braccia e mi sollevava. Una volta in piedi mi dava tre o quattro colpi ai vestitini, toglieva la polvere, mi rimetteva in sella al mio trabiccolo e diceva:

<<Vai! Come nuovo!>>

Io amavo quella frase, mi sentivo rinvigorito. Sembra banale, ma era la mia frase. Bastava sentirla pronunciare che tutti i problemi scomparivano. Le mie gambe iniziavano a premere di nuovo su quei piccoli pedali alla ricerca della velocità, poi magari ricadevo, ma lei era sempre pronta a sorreggermi ed alzarmi quando non ce l’avessi fatta da solo a rimettermi sulle mie gambe. C’era sempre, mi manca!

Da quel tempo ne ho fatta di strada, le ruote sono diventate due e non sono più di plastica. Il mio mondo non è più il cortile di casa, ma strisce d’asfalto infinite che almeno una volta a settimana cavalco preparandomi per le gare.

Mi guardo intorno e aspetto che passi qualcuno. Sono un cicloamatore, lo sono sempre stato e questo è il mio mondo, mentre aspetto guardo la mia tessera, che conservo nel portafogli insieme al badge aziendale. Alla corsa non dedico tutta la mia vita, non è una cosa per tutti questa, devo anche sopravvivere. Di solito non voglio disturbatori, a me piace stare da solo con l’asfalto e non amo che mi seguano. So che in questo momento sarebbe stato opportuno avere qualcuno che mi aiutasse, ma anche qui seduto a rimpiangere di non aver visto quella pietra sulla quale ho sbattuto e son caduto mi trovo a mio agio con la strada, ad un kilometro dal traguardo!

Ero intento a guardare girare i raggi della ruota, lo faccio sempre, quando scalo una montagna non guardo la strada, ma la ruota, così non mi demotivo e mi ritrovo in cima senza accorgermene. Sentivo l’odore dell’asfalto che mi entrava dentro e mi facevo guidare solo dal girare delle mie ruote lisce, attaccate al suolo come fossero cosparse di pece. Stringevo forte i palmi al manubrio e sentivo tirare tutti i tendini. Nella scalata io lotto col dislivello, col vento e la polvere, verso la cima! Ogni tanto qualche piccolo pezzettino di terreno favorevole mi fa riprendere il fiato e riposare le gambe, ma poi si ricomincia a pigiare forte sui pedali. In questo modo io mi sento vivo!

Questa volta ero solo al comando, PRIMO! Ancora non arrivano i compagni che mi sono lasciato alle spalle, sono ancora primo, ma so bene che non riuscirò a rialzarmi così in fretta per chiudere la gara.

Passa il primo corridore, colui che era il mio secondo, mi guarda, io mi aspetto che si fermi ma non lo fa. Mi guarda con degli occhi strani, credo che sia quasi contento, questa volta salirà lui sul gradino più alto del podio. Risponderà alle interviste dei giornalisti, potrà dire le sue frasi ad effetto, salutare la famiglia e sentirsi eroe per un giorno sul TG regionale. Io invece sono seduto qui, a terra, appoggiato in una piccola zona d’ombra sotto uno strano albero che non fa né fiori né frutti, per fortuna ha le foglie per tenermi al fresco.

Così passano il secondo, il terzo, il quarto… tutti impegnati a correre verso il traguardo. Nessuno si ferma a chiedermi cos’è successo, nessuno si ferma a chiedermi come va. Li vedo passare, uno ad uno. E’ brutto, molto brutto! Di solito nelle gare coloro che cadono vengono soccorsi, ma questa è una gara particolare, c’è solo un’auto di inizio gara, che ci precede, ed una di fine gara che ovviamente ci segue da lontano.

Guardo ancora una volta le mie ginocchia e in particolare quello che ho messo KO con la caduta. E’ sporco di sangue e polvere, ma ci sono abituato. Prendo la mia borraccia, faccio un sorso e poi decido di lavare la ferita. Il contatto con l’acqua fredda genera un bruciore insopportabile, dura pochi attimi, ma non nego che dal dolore mi è venuta fuori qualche lacrima.

Sono ancora qui, seduto a terra, senza che nessuno si sia fermato, solo con i miei pensieri ed ormai consapevole che non potrò mai finire la mia gara. I ciclisti dovrebbero essere tutti passati, attendo solo che passi la macchina di fine gara, così finalmente in qualche modo mi caricheranno con loro e mi porteranno al traguardo. Mentre penso ad un modo per legare la bici ad un albero, in lontananza  vedo un ultimo ciclista, la corsa non è ancora finita e la macchina deve essere più dietro.

Guardo quel ciclista e so che anche questo mi passerà davanti e andrà verso il traguardo, mancano pochi metri e quando sei alla fine, anche se non tra i primi, cerchi almeno di migliorare il tuo tempo.

Poco dopo siamo vicini e stranamente questo corridore mi sorride, mi guarda e vuol sapere cosa è successo. Io gli racconto della caduta e del mio ginocchio, che non ce la faccio ad alzarmi e che vorrei concludere la gara nel posto in cui mi trovo, tanto non potrei che arrivare ultimo e questa è una gara singola, non c’è bisogno di finirla per forza, soprattutto da ultimo!

Non mi sembra molto d’accordo, mi fa una smorfia e poi mi dice: <<Sei venuto fin qua, ad un kilometro dal traguardo, per mollare la tua corsa in uno stato indefinito? Sei venuto fin qua, dopo mesi di allenamento, ad attendere che la macchina che passerà tra poco ti porti al traguardo da perdente? O forse sei venuto qua a chiudere la gara, costi quel che costi, perché l’importante è arrivare a quel traguardo con le tue ruote, da vincente!?>>

Così lo sconosciuto corridore mi allunga una mano, io l’afferro e mi tiro su. Mi do una scrollata per togliermi la polvere di dosso, mi rimetto in sella, respiro forte e provo a partire. Assurdamente il ginocchio non mi fa più male.

Sento quell’uomo gridarmi da lontano : “Vai! Come nuovo!”

Al sentire di quelle parole mi volto, guardo indietro e non lo vedo più. Piango per un intero kilometro, arrivo al traguardo ormai solo, con una nuova consapevolezza: a volte gli ultimi mostrano più coraggio dei primi!

Non ci sono persone ad attendermi e nemmeno applausi, ma quando arrivo al traguardo alzo le mani al cielo e faccio un applauso a me stesso, oggi ho vinto sul serio!


Se questa storia ti è piaciuta condividila con i tuoi amici. Dai un’occhiata ai miei libri e goditi le altre storie su www.liberidiesserefree.com

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